i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
