Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
