Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
