I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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