Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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