if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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