I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
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Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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