careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
