if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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