We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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