There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
