We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
