so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
