...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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