He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
