I heard we made out
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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