Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
