You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
