I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"