So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
