My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.