We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
