It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
