I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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