try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
