it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
