i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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