If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
