but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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