it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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