it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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