It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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