Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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