i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
