id be glad to
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
don't judge my taste in strippers
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
