i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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