Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
