Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
