Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize