i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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