We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
