i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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