i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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