i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
