he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me