so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself