So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday