Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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