I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
