I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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