so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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