Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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