when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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