I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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