Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
