In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
