jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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