I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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