some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
