Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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