I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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