break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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