we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
