he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
